Small Talk is The Worst

I’ve never been one for small talk

I’m the person that asks people I’ve just met about their passions. What they’re afraid of. What their dreams are and why they aren’t living them.

If you’re holding a baby I might ask you her name, what parts of yourself you see in her, what you wish for her future. We could have a complete conversation and you’d look back to realize you never even told me she was 27 months, or whatever crazy parents like to say instead of “2 years old” or whatever.

(Reading this back I’m like, people must think I’m crazy on a daily basis… Oh well! lol)

I’m unapologetic about the fact that I don’t really have time or energy to talk about the weather. We have so little time on this earth, and I’m honestly not that inclined to waste breath on pointless topics.

Ok maybe it's appropriate to discuss the weather occasionalllllly....
Ok maybe it’s appropriate to discuss the weather soommmetimes….

So why do we limit ourselves to such mundane topics?? Is it that taboo to share a real piece of yourself, and to accept a real piece of someone else?

I really want to reinvent small talk.

You don’t wanna talk about the weather anyway. Be real.

How are you feeling today? What kept you up last night? What are you looking forward to today? Do you love your job? What would you rather be doing?

Sure, these questions seem annoying in the context of a random person harassing you on the subway.

But I look at life as an endless opportunity to connect. It can’t be a coincidence that as humans we:

  1. naturally crave interpersonal interaction, and
  2. are each one of 7+ billion.

With 7+ billion people on earth, we have at our fingertips enough interpersonal connection for a lifetime….yet most of us are out here feeling isolated and lacking connection. Huh??


I have no doubt that if we even start small, we can change that in our own lives almost overnight. The opportunities are there every day. Take advantage of opportunities to connect with other people. Reach out to strangers and pick their brains; I rarely leave a conversation wishing I’d never started it. The responses I get range from inspiring to off-putting, but they’re always fascinating. They never fail to be thought-provoking.

I’m all for the reinvention of small talk.

But think about it. When was the last time you had a surprisingly refreshing interaction with a stranger?

Maybe you bonded over the ridiculously long line at Trader Joe’s. Or you caught each other’s laughing eyes while watching an amusing street performer. Next thing you know you’re having a conversation…and personally, I always walk away from those random interactions a little more cheerful.

It’s nice to know that you can relate to a complete stranger based on nothing more than the shared experience of being human.

So why not try it!

– ♥  Sade


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