So I recently retired this dating ideology I had that “I’m not gonna date *insert guy here* because I can’t envision myself married to that kind of person.”
Up until now my thought process has basically been that if I couldn’t envision us happily together for the long-term, I didn’t want to be bothered with a string of pointless dates leading to the inevitable breakup.
Sounds efficient, right?
But I finally hung that up. Partially for the reasons I’m about to explore…and partially because that’s a quick way to end up with no dates LOL.
But the main reason I let that go is because I’ve realized, I’m not at the stage of “dating to marry.” I am 23 years old! lmao.
And of course that’s a subjective idea. There are regional factors, religious or cultural factors…or even plain ol fellheadoverheelsinlove factors as to why a woman would or wouldn’t typically get married at my age.
But here in fast & free Los Angeles–and California in general–it’s not the norm to get married at this age. I’ve still got a few years before I look around and everyone my age is married with a family. So I can put that on the shelf for now and start….
dating as an educational tool! ;)
I think it’s important, and not necessarily intuitive, to think of dating as more than one-dimensional. Sure, we mainly date to find a life partner. But that’s not the only reason to date.
There are a bunch of potential dating stages, many of which I think you’ll access more naturally at different ages and stages of your own life.
So right now, I’m learning what I like and what I don’t like! Which is just as essential a part of dating as getting to the part where you only date people you could feasibly be happy with long term, right?
When I thought about it, I honestly have no clear idea of what I want…so how could I be dating for marriage?