Ever feel like someone in your life is being kind of an ass to you, and you know you’ve done nothing to deserve it?
That used to be one of my biggest pet peeves–I believe in treating people the way they deserve to be treated. And I think I’m pretty good about it.
Sure we all have bad days and bad moods that make being nice to others feel like the least of our concerns.
But that’s the thing–we all have those days. So if you ask me, it’s really self-serving to expect others to just be down with your rudeness because you’re having a bad day.
So in general, that’s a huge no-no in my book. It’s not ok to be nasty, selfish, or rude to someone who doesn’t deserve it, just because of your own mood.
But as I explore this vulnerability thing, I’ve learned something valuable: a lot of times when people are going through things, it may not be fair to you, but you can’t ask them to do good by you when they’re struggling to even deal with themselves.
That’s where grace comes in.
You don’t have to stick around and tolerate bad behavior. But you don’t have to completely kick someone to the curb either.
It’s all about recognizing if you truly have an asshole in your life, or just a temporary jerk. And then deciding for yourself if that jerk deserves forgiveness for acting out their “bad mood/day/life” on you.
I’m starting to recognize the power–and act of kindness–there is in stepping aside for a while and giving that person space to find what they need.
Try again before writing someone off completely…it may be that they’re really just going through something and couldn’t show up for you.
To take it any more personally, I’m learning, is just as self-involved and egotistical. If the issue is not with you, there’s no reason to make it so. Give that douche some time ;)
We’re all human man. None of us will get it right every time, and knowing that, the gracious thing is to give other humans chances to try again when they falter.