I mentioned earlier
that my New Year’s resolutions aren’t exactly things I expect to have completed by year’s end…and I questioned if it even counts as a resolution in that case.
But it got me thinking.
New Year’s resolutions get a bad rap–“Only about 8 percent of people keep their resolutions all year long”.
Seems that for some reason, resolutions for the new year are pretty hard for us to stick to.
But then I looked over my personal “resolutions” and realized they aren’t so much resolutions as intentions.
Resolutions are tough to keep, because they’re strict promises we make to ourselves, usually on a deadline.
Intentions give us more wiggle-room…always in the back of your mind encouraging you toward positive change, but not labeling you a complete failure if you take a while to get there.
For example, a New Year’s resolution might look like “I will exercise three times a week, every week.”
Easily broken, trust me ;)
But what if you set an intention for the year instead? “I will live a healthier, more active lifestyle.”
That means I’m not stressed and defeated when I can’t make it to the gym as planned for whatever #lifehappens reason.
No feeling like I’ve ruined my progress, broken my promise to myself, and might as well just give up now.
Instead, having the intention of living a healthier lifestyle inspires me to maybe, go on a weekend hike to make up for missing the gym. It reminds me of the overall benefit of why I’m exercising, instead of turning it into some inflexible chore.
My intentions for the year are all personal development-related…I can really sense that this is a time of growth for me, so going within and doing a bit of spring cleaning felt perfect :)
Mainly, my intentions for 2016 are:
- To actively unlearn a lot
You can’t read about personal development without coming across the idea of unlearning, and I think it’s such a great attitude to embrace.
Essentially, it comes from an idea that deep down in the core of our beings, we all know who we are, what we value, and what’s important in life.
This is soul stuff..it doesn’t need to be taught, it just is.
But throughout our lives, be it in school or countless other social situations, we begin to learn endless superfluous things that cloud our soul space.
Expectations, anxieties, insecurities, etc. etc. are all thrust upon us slowly but steadily, starting in adolescence and continuing into adulthood. And it all usually comes with some underlying message that we need to be more this, less that, and ultimately, fit into a predetermined space of “acceptable”…whatever that means for the society you grew up in.
We spend so much of life learning to be “acceptable” according to someone else’s expectations. And I think a big part of soul-searching is simply unlearning–getting back in touch with who you really are at your core, minus everything you’ve been taught about becoming less uniquely you.
It’s about coming to a place of just being, and shedding the rest. And as simple as that sounds, doesn’t it seem so freeing?
Just goes to show how chained we are to the expectations of the world, whether we recognize it on the day to day or not.
- To obliterate my comfort zone
So I’ve always enjoyed adventure, to a degree. But always safe, contained, minimally risky adventure LOL (not sure if that still counts as adventure…)
I’ve never been comfortable in situations where I can’t foresee the result, predict an outcome…essentially, going into a situation blind was a no-go for me.
As an extremely intuitive person though, you’d be surprised how rarely I’m actually in that situation. I’ve been known to over-prepare for everything from school to vacations, so beyond my strong gut instincts about most things, I can usually fill in any gaps of uncertainty with enough Googling and background research to maximize my comfort lol.
The problem with this though, is that sometimes you really can’t prepare for situations in life. And I will never get the most of life and all it has to offer if I’m so insistent on doing things within my comfort zone, over-preparing, and never allowing myself to just go into a situation blindly and allow an experience to manifest.
Lately I’m more trusting of God and the universe, and the fact that whatever happens, it’s always what I need, good or bad. Either I needed an amazing experience to look back on…or I needed a lesson! ;)
But trusting in that, and allowing life to show me how beautiful it can be when I do trust that, has so far been an awesome experience in itself.
Part of my plan to obliterate my comfort zone is my plan to teach English abroad in Thailand–a place where I don’t know the language, the lay of the land, or a soul.
The kind of experience you can Google every day for a year, and still be going into pretty blindly. Aka, a Sade-proof challenge lol.
Taking it a step further, I decided the other day that when I apply to the Peace Corps (another future challenge I’m holding myself to) I won’t list specific countries of preference. Which is so un-me!!
I’ve had nightmares about being placed in some like, Kzydhbchzxhruhreu-stan (lol) where I don’t speak the language and I’m the only non-white face and I’m isolated from civilization and and and…………
LET IT GO SADE. Again, God and the universe always provide, and it’s always exactly what I need.
I hope to really learn to let go of my projections of how things should be and release my expectations.
I want to say more “yes.” I wanna just…let life lead me sometimes, and not always having it the other way around.
I resign to the fact that, perhaps, life knows more than I do about what I need for growth. It’s time I allow it to teach me.
- To embrace my “Year of the Dreamgirl”
We all have ideas in our head of who we are and what we’re here to do.
More specifically, we all have some concept of our “ideal self.”
This self is the person we envision ourselves as at our best, the self that we hope to project to the world. Our ideal self is the person we describe if asked “how do you want people to see you?”
…And I think it’s this image of our “ideal self” that makes us frustrated when we feel misunderstood by peers or loved ones, or anxious when we feel stuck in a life circumstance that doesn’t feel right. It stems from a frustration that the ideal self we want to project isn’t successfully being emitted into the world–we get upset when no one else seems to see that self but us.
Throughout life, we’re working hard to eventually become a realized, concrete version of that “ideal self” we envision in our own minds.
I think of this as the “Dreamgirl” version of me. The Sade of my dreams ;) Me at my most actualized, centered place.
I’m not sure what sparked it, but recently it finally hit me that there’s nothing stopping me from becoming the Dreamgirl version of myself.
I am her. I just need to realize that version of myself and act accordingly.
That kind, warm, funny, genuine, intelligent, and capable woman I see as “myself at my best”? I absolutely am her, if I take the efforts daily to get closer to her. And I can also say with confidence that whoever that “self” is for you, you already are him or her–you just need more growth and action to realize it.
Did you make any resolutions this year? It’s been 3 weeks now…have you broken them? lol
What about any intentions, have you set any of those for 2016? Hopefully I’ve inspired you to :)